Independence Day

Christopher La Bianca AKA "Geode"

Final Fantasy Farces, Fanfic #14

 

 

Note: This is not in any way, shape, or form, a rip-off of Independence Day. I just liked the name and it fit the holiday. (OK... I rip off a little at the end.)

Dawn is just arriving over Junon harbor. Whistles and drums are sounding as the Shin-ra guard march down the street. The big protective walls are coming down to allow citizens to open shop. One of the walls gets stuck midway.

"You stupid piece of...!" a man shouts as he kicks the wall. It groans, but finally opens. The Shin-ra soldiers march down to the dock. Rufus and Heiddeger are busy preparing for a campaign meeting. Big pennants saying, "Rufus will stop Meteor!" are being posted around the area. In fact, a statue showing, Rufus holding Meteor up on his shoulders, had been erected in the center of the Square. Heiddeger rushed over to Rufus.

"Are all the preparations being made?" Rufus demanded. Heiddeger nodded.

"Yep! The fireworks and the supplies are being shipped here right now," Heiddeger replied, very pleased with himself. "And you'll be happy to know that we've gotten all the arrangements with the Turks taken care of." Rufus nodded and straightened his hair.

"Excellent. I am very pleased," Rufus nodded.

"Nya ha ha! I thought you would," Heiddeger laughed. Rufus glared at him.

"Laugh like a horse again, and I'll make you look like a horse's..." Rufus was cut off.

"Excuse me Mr. President? We'd like to know why all of this publicity for Independence Day?" a news reporter asked. Heiddeger smiled and sneaked away from Rufus' wrath.

"Well... I just want the public to know that everything is being taken care of," Rufus smiled.

 

Meanwhile, Barret was busy watching the broadcast on television.

"Dat Rufus thinks he's so high and mighty? I'd like to see him fight Sephiroth and stop Meteor," Barret growled. "What's he gonna do? Comb his hair back and impress Sephiroth?!" Tifa walked by behind him.

"I don't like it. Why would he make all this fuss over Independence Day?" Tifa added. Cid, who was busy making a paper airplane in the shape of the Highwind, looked up from his work.

"Why wouldn't you make a fuss over independence?" Cid demanded. Red XIII heard the conversation and strolled in.

"What were we independent from?" Red XIII wondered aloud. Cid took a drag of his cigarette.

"Everyone knows that!" Cid replied.

"Then what smart guy?" Barret replied. Cid was about to reply, but then stopped in the middle. He went to reply again, but was speechless.

"And you guys were gonna go beat Sephiroth without me?" Yuffie laughed while walking in with a load of snacks. "Independence Day is when Wutai received it's independence from it's neighboring continent in the war, Even though we lost..."

"Ohhhhhh!" everyone called out. "I knew that!" Cid added. Yuffie scowled. Tifa glared at Yuffie's food.

"Where'd you get that Yuffie?" Tifa demanded. Yuffie looked to her snack.

"Oh... I... Uh... Acquired it," Yuffie found a legitimate answer. Tifa frowned and walked over to swipe the food away from her.

"You stole it from my cabinet! I told you that was for the party later," Tifa sighed. She grabbed the bag of chips and other assorted snacks from Yuffie. Yuffie frowned. Just then, Aeris walked in. (Yes, she is still alive.)

"All the decorations are up for our party," Aeris smiled. "Now, all we need is Cloud and Cait Sith back with the fireworks. They shouldn't be too much longer."

"They better not mess up the Highwind!" Cid mumbled aloud. "It was bad enough when my Tiny Bronco just disappeared into thin air!"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Do you think we're allowed to just take these fireworks?" Cloud asked Cait Sith, who was cautiously glancing back and forth.

"Sure... They'll never miss 'em. They're always using them in the background, so they have to have a lot of them," Cait Sith replied. Cloud scanned the crate again and then closed it.

"OK. Let's go," Cloud told Cait Sith. A dark figure approached behind Cait Sith.

"I got the stuff," the figure replied. Cait Sith screamed. The cat fell off his riding Mog and crashed onto the floor.

"Don't do that!" Cait Sith growled as he climbed back on his Mog. Cloud scratched his head.

"Id didn't know you did so much illegal stuff Reeve. Spying, Gambling, Fireworks, FF5 Emulators, and now this!" Cloud shook his head in pity at the cat. Cait Sith frowned.

"Spying isn't illegal! And this isn't what is looks like!" Cait Sith retaliated back. "I'm exchanging Gil for GP!"

"What!? You can do that!?" Cloud said shocked.

"How do you think I bought those, ???? items at the redemption stand," Cait Sith laughed. He handed some Gil to the man and he handed him a black suitcase. He nodded and jumped back into the shadows.

"Well... You certainly couldn't fit on a chocobo," Cloud laughed. "What were those items anyway?"

"The rest of the 1/13 soldiers and a Poyozo doll," Cait Sith said smiling.

"What happens when you get all 13 soldiers?" Cloud asked.

"You get a Cloud! One full SOLDIER!" Cait Sith began to laugh at his own joke. Cloud clocked him in the head.

"That was a bad joke Sith," Cloud replied.

"Oww... Fine. I would like to get all the airship pieces in the Auction House though," Cait Sith added. Cloud and Cait Sith hoisted the crate up and began to carry it away. "But this stupid %#$& keeps paying 1,000,000 GP! And even though I have 2,000,000, I can't seem to raise my hand." The two carried it onto the monorail and left the Gold Saucer.

A few moments later, Dio and a few of his associates arrived where the fireworks were.

"Well? Where are the special batch for tomorrow?" Dio demanded after the associates began to check all around the area.

"Umm... They were right here sir!" one of the men said. Dio shook his head.

"You morons! We need them for tonight!" Dio shouted.

"It's always night here!" another man laughed. Dio frowned.

"Yes... A slight plot hole in the game... But I still need my fireworks!" Dio growled.

"We'll find them sir! Even if we have to steal them from the Millennial Fair in Truce!" a man told Dio.

"See that you do!" Dio growled.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Bugenhagen floated across his observatory and pressed a few of the controls. The observatory shifted and the huge telescope aimed towards the Gold Saucer.

"Ahhh! Now I can watch the fireworks from here and I don't need to stare at Meteor anymore!" Bugenhagen floated into a chair. A man stood at the entrance of the observatory.

"Umm... Isn't Meteor more important Bugen?" the man asked. Bugenhagen laughed.

"Meteor! Hah! It's not like it's ever gonna crash," Bugenhagen laughed. "And at the speed it's going, it'll probably bounce off of Midgar."

"How do you know it's going to hit Midgar?" the man asked. Bugenhagen frowned.

"Oh! Ho Ho Hoooo! What was I mumbling? I must need rest. Now leave!!" Bugenhagen floated over and ushered him out. "The telescope is in place. I don't need you right now!" The man sighed and left. Bugenhagen floated over and looked back in the telescope. A knock rang out at the door. "I said to go away!" Bugenhagen growled.

"We're not staying long," a voice called back. Bugenhagen turned around. Reno, Rude, and Elena stood at the door.

"We just need the huge materia," Elena added. Bugenhagen floated wide-eyed.

"The Huge Materia?! You can't take that. It's Cloud's!" Bugenhagen called to them. Reno tapped his cane to the wall.

"They won't mind," Reno laughed. Rude went to get the materia.

"Stay back Mr. Clean! You're not going any further!" Bugenhagen shouted. He removed his key of the Ancients from the wall and smashed it across Rude's face. Rude groaned and stumbled back. "See? Cloud only thought it made that ancient movie projector turn on!" Reno sighed.

"I tire of this," Reno growled. He removed a gun from his vest. Bugenhagen floated back. Reno aimed up and fired at one of the revolving planets. The bullet caught the cord and the planet began to sway. Bugenhagen cried out and rushed to save it. He caught it in mid-air as it snapped from it's cord. He gasped under it's weight and slowly plummeted to the grouns. It landed with a thud, and Bugenhagen stuck under it. Rude grabbed the materia and headed out the door with Elena. Reno smiled. "Ha ha ha! You just saved the Planet!" Reno laughed again and headed out.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 Rufus waited impatiently at the podium. Heidegger rushed over to Rufus after a few seconds.

"They have them Mr. President," Heiddeger laughed. Rufus smiled.

"Good... Then we have all the preparations made?" Rufus questioned military advisor.

"Yes, we have all the fireworks in the docking bay and the Mako Cannon is being reassembled here in Junon," Heiddeger replied.

"Excellent. Get the camera men back over here," Rufus commanded. Heiddeger rushed off. A moment later, tons of the media approached Rufus' podium.

"We heard from the bloated green guy that laughs like a horse that you have something to announce," a woman reporter commented to Rufus.

"That's correct. I'd like to say that at this Independence Day festival, I'm going to destroy Meteor," Rufus smiled. The crowd gasped.

"What!!?" Barret and the rest of team cried in unison.

"That's right. I have just made preparations to gather four pieces of huge materia. They will be attached to fireworks in our show. My scientists have discovered that if we hit Meteor in multiple places at once, we may be able to destroy it. Unlike in previous attempts."

"Huge Materia? He couldn't possibly mean ours?" Tifa replied.

"That $^#&! That's exactly what he's doing! We have to get to Cosmo Canyon!" Cid shouted. Just then, Cloud and Cait Sith rushed in.

"Well, we have the fireworks," Cloud called. The team rushed past them.

"You could have thanked us!" Cait Sith growled.

"Come on, We have to get to Cosmo Canyon!" Red XIII called to Cloud and Cait Sith. They looked at each other, and then followed. Back on the television screen, Rufus had just finished his report. Rufus brushed back his hair. Hojo came up behind him.

"Hojo. Are you sure this will work? The last attack on Meteor was unsuccessful," Rufus remarked to Hojo.

"That was because that fool Palmer didn't allow the Huge Materia to stay on the rocket. This will certainly work. We simply load your fireworks and Huge Materia into the Mako Cannon, fire straight at Meteor using the Underwater Reactor's Mako energy, and the blast will instantly rip apart Meteor while displaying a fantastic show. The public will love it, and our world will be safe again," Hojo explained to Rufus as plain as possible.

"You've really out done yourself Hojo," Rufus replied as he walked away. Hojo began to laugh.

"The fool... Little does he realize that the Huge Materia will actually release a huge amount of energy. Enough energy to allow Sephiroth to become one with the Planet," Hojo laughed again. "And even these won't stop my son's Meteor," Hojo muttered to himself. He smiled and walked away.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The crater came into view. A big neon sign reading "Shin-ra Labs" glowed a bright red over the top of the Crater. The Pinky and the Brain theme song cues in the background.

Sephiroth paces back and forth at the bottom of the Crater. Jenova is busy sitting in front of the television watching Jeopardy.

"OK Crono... What was the name of Frog's best weapon in Chrono Trigger?" Alex Trebec asked Crono. Crono struggled to reply, but couldn't, since he had no voice. Frog was busy pounding on the buzzer, trying to get a response. Sephiroth scowled at the television.

"Fools! The Masamune is my weapon! Not that stupid Frog's!" Sephiroth growled as he waved his Masamune in the air. The buzzer beeped.

"I'm sorry Crono... Anyone else?" Alex went to Frog.

"Tisith the Masamune!" Frog replied. The buzzer beeped.

"I'm sorry... You didn't phrase your answer in the form of a question," Alex replied. Frog pulled out his Masamune.

"I'll giveth you something to question!" Frog shouted as he lunged at Alex Trebec. The show cut to a commercial.

"We all hope you enjoy your 4th of July. And please come to our Independence Sale, where we'll discount absolutely nothing! Sponsored by the Shin-ra's 'Destroy Meteor' Show." Sephiroth put his hand to his chin.

"What? Destroy Meteor!? This can't be good," Sephiroth growled. "I must see to it that they do not destroy Meteor!" Sephiroth turned off the television. "Come mother! We're going out." Jenova groaned and followed Sephiroth out.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The team huddled around Bugenhagen, who was lying in bed. His face was a pale white. He was in shock over the Planet model crushing him. Red XIII looked up and down his grandfather. The man who was with Bugenhagen before the Turks had come, explained that he had found him silent under the model and the Huge Materia was gone. Red XIII growled.

"I want to know who did this!" Red XIII shouted. "I'll tear them apart!" Vincent frowned.

"No more kibbles and bits for you," Vincent mocked him. Red XIII shrugged off the comment. The man sighed.

"He should be fine in a day or two... But he hasn't replied to any of my questions," the man told the team. Cid smiled and shoved Red XIII out of the way.

"Let a pro handle this," Cid said smugly. "Hey! Bugenhagen!! Hello!! Anybody there!!?" Cid shouted. He got no response. Cid snapped his fingers a few times, then clapped his hands. The lights flicked off.

"Damn Clap Ons..." Cloud muttered. Cid clapped them back on. He whistled a few times. Still no response. Cid growled and frustration and grabbed Bugenhagen.

"Tell us you %^#*! I know you're holding back!!" Cid shouted shaking the man. Cloud and Vincent pulled his away from Bugenhagen. Cid sighed and took out a cigarette. He removed his lighter and struck the match. Bugenhagen's face stared at the lighter. Cid swayed it back and forth. Bugenhagen's gaze followed the flame. "Bugenhagen? Who did this?" Bugenhagen was silent for a second.

"Elena... Elena..." Bugenhagen replied.

"It was the %#@&(* Turks!" Barret growled. "Now I know dem Shin-ra are in this!"

"Let's get to Junon!" Cloud called to the team. Everyone filed out except Yuffie. She removed Cid's lighter from her pocket.

"Hmm... I wonder how that got there?" Yuffie mused. She lit it and began to sway it back and forth in front of Bugenhagen. She thrust to and throe laughing, which was driving Bugenhagen a little crazy. Vincent walked back in and saw what Yuffie was doing. He grabbed the lighter and slammed his gun into her head.

"Oww..." Yuffie moaned.

"Next time... Pick on somebody with the same mentality as you!" Vincent frowned. Yuffie smiled.

"Then you wouldn't mind if I bother you?" Yuffie retaliated. Vincent frowned and left the room.

 

The Highwind approached th Junon harbor area. They could hear the Junon marching music from the Highwind. Cloud jumped to his feet from his chair.
"Cait Sith! Turn that CD off!" Cloud shouted. The marching music stopped.

"Just providing some entertainment for our trip," Cait Sith moaned. Cid walked over and snatched the controller from Cait Sith.

"I know what people like!" Cid shouted. He changed the track. Cid's theme cued up. Cid smiled and went back to flying. A moment later, the music stopped and the CD crashed into the back of Cid's head. Highwind slowly descended next to Junon Harbor. The team hopped out and walked into lower Junon. Cloud pointed to the elevator.

"Boy, That guy must be really tired of guarding that elevator," Aeris replied. Cid shrugged.

"And you know... I'm sick of paying 10 gil to use it!" Cid shouted. "I'm going to make us get in for free!"

"Cid... We have 3,927,748,836,784 gil... Is it really necessary to fight with elevator operator?" Tifa replied.

"Sure it is! Unless you wanna use that stupid Dolphin!" Cid commented. He walked over to the guard.
"OK buddy. You're gonna let us pass for free or I'm making your belly button wider!" Cid shouted. The guard looked at Cid, a little irritated.

"Uh, sir. Read the sign behind me," The soldier replied.

"What? Does it tell the rates or something? I bet you have children and adults prices! So that means Yuffie gets to go cheaper!" Cid laughed.

"Hey!!" Yuffie shouted in protest. Tifa tapped Cid's shoulder.

"Not now Tifa! Can't you see I'm trying to get us a better deal!"

"CID!" Cloud shouted. "Read the sign!" Cid scowled and looked at the sign.

"Due to today's festival, the elevator is free to all who will attend," Cid read aloud. "Ohhhhh! See? They knew I was coming and put that up in advance!" the team sighed in unison and entered the elevator. Cid was about to enter the elevator when the soldier stopped him.

"What?" Cid demanded. He pointed to another sign. "No Smoking? Oh $%@&!"

 

The Tiny Bronco floated over to Junon Harbor. Sephiroth and Jenova hopped out of the seats.

"I'm glad I stole this thing," Sephiroth smiled "And that Red Car thing is pretty neat too!"

"Whatever... Let's just go stop them so I can return to the Planet, I mean Crater," Jenova moaned in her strange inhuman tone. Sephiroth nodded.

"Hmm... I wonder what I should look for... There must be something that stands out," Sephiroth looked around the harbor area. "Hey! It's getting cloudy."

Little did he notice the huge Mako Cannon positioning above them. It's barrel aimed towards Meteor.

 

Cloud and the team walked towards the cannon. Soon, a huge crowd was forming in the square. There was a huge turnout for Rufus' "Destroy Meteor" show. Rufus was busy shouting to Heiddeger and Hojo about the pre-fireworks entertainment.

"What do you mean that the dancers won't come?! Uh... Where am I supposed to get entertainment now?" Rufus shouted. His voice was almost drowned out by the crowd. Tifa snapped her fingers.

"Cloud, I have an idea," Tifa yelled to Cloud. She gestured for him and the rest to follow. After getting closer to Rufus' podium, Tifa explained her plan in full detail. Cloud liked it. Mainly, because he didn't have to wear a dress.

"OK. You, Aeris, and Yuffie go, and we'll use you guys as cover to find the Turks," Cloud finished the plan.
"We best hope that the Shin-ra won't notice us snooping around their equipment," Barret stated.

"They won't be watching you guys with us on stage," Tifa replied. With that, the team split up. Cloud, Vincent, Cid, Barret, Red XIII and Cait Sith rushed off to where the fireworks were being set up. Tifa, Aeris and Yuffie walked up to Heiddeger.

"Excuse us sir. We heard that you were in need of dancers," Tifa began. Heiddeger smiled.

"Nya'ha ha! What luck! You guys are perfect. Now maybe Rufus'll lighten up," Heiddeger looked to Rufus. Heiddeger ushered for them to follow. Cloud and the team used this distraction to move past Heiddeger's post. The team began to spread out around the equipment. Cloud and Cid shuffled through a few crates while Barret, Red XIII and Vincent checked some of the trucks, which hadn't been unloaded yet.

"Nothin' here," Barret called from the back of the truck.

"Damn! This is just all of Rufus' campaign $#%^!" Cid complained lifting up a T-Shirt with Rufus' face on it.

"Now I understand how he's ruling by fear," Vincent commented.

"This isn't the right spot. We need to look somewhere else. Somewhere that Rufus could keep it safe. Barret looked into the sky.

"Rufus said he was gonna use 'em like fireworks right?" Barret called to Cid.

"Yea... So?" Cid replied.

"If he's gonna hit Meteor... He's gonna use that!" Barret pointed up at the Mako Cannon. Cloud nodded.

"Makes sense," Cloud replied. The team rushed towards the cannon.

 

Sephiroth wandered the streets of Junon. He was busy carrying a map while Jenova chewed on cotton candy.
"Hmm... We just passed the main street and the docks. So we must be getting close to the cannon," Sephiroth replied. Jenova gurgled something. "No mother! I am not lost!" Sephiroth shouted. A Shin-ra soldier walked by. Sephiroth grabbed him. "Hey! Tell me where I can find the Mako Cannon!" Sephiroth demanded.

"It's right there," the soldier pointed up.

"Don't toy with me," Sephiroth pulled out the Masamune.

"No! It's up there!" the soldier shouted with urgency. Sephiroth scowled and looked up. The cannon glistened in the light. Sephiroth dropped the man from his grasp.

"Thank you man," Sephiroth called and sheathed his sword. Unfortunately, when Sephiroth sheathed it, the blade caught the soldier in the chest. Sephiroth walked away without noticing.

"Ahhh... My liver," the soldier groaned.

 

"Tifa? Don't you think this is a little too... scanty?" Aeris replied. She held up the dancers uniform. It was relatively small compared to Tifa's usual outfit.

"No," Tifa replied. She was busy slipping her outfit on. Yuffie frowned as she read the directions for the show.

"How are we supposed to memorize this in five minutes?" Yuffie demanded. Tifa shrugged.

"I'm sure we can. Celes memorized an entire opera in 5 minutes," Tifa replied. Yuffie and Aeris nodded in sudden approval. Aeris slipped off one of her huge boots and began to put on her dancing shoes. 

"Why do you wear those clunky things anyway?" Tifa asked. Aeris shrugged.

"They come in handy when you need to step over all that glass and nails in Midgar. Besides, I'm an Ancient. I have to stand out." Tifa nodded in understanding. After a few more minutes, all three of them were completely dressed, which wasn't much at all. Heiddeger entered the doorway.

"You girls are on in five minutes. Make sure you're ready!" Heiddeger snapped. Tifa nodded. Heiddeger's sight remained on them for another minute and then left.

 

"This looks like the right place," Cloud told Barret. Signs were posted around reading, "Stay Out" and "I'd turn back if I were you." Cloud approached the door and knocked.

"Who is it?" a voice shouted from behind the door.

"Some guys who want the Huge Materia," Cid yelled. There was silence for a moment.

"Sorry, Can't let you in," the voice rang back. Cloud tapped his jaw.

"Let's try a different approach," Cloud suggested. He knocked on the door again.

"What?" the called back.

"Uh... Your Dr. Pepper delivery is here," Cloud adlibbed. There was another moment of silence.

"OK. Come right in," the voice called. Cloud opened the door.

"You foo'! It wasn't locked!" Barret commented to Cloud. Cloud shrugged. He opened the door. The Turks were sitting at a table playing cards.

"Ha! Take that, Full House!" Reno smiled. Elena and Rude tossed down their cards in disgust. Reno saw the team. "Oh hi! Where's the Dr. Pepper?"

"There is none you freak," Cait Sith shouted. Reno narrowed his eyes.

"No Dr. Pepper... This makes me very angry," Reno growled. He removed his staff from his back. "You guys are gonna be our own private party... Ha ha ha ha ha!" Reno laughed. Suddenly, Sephiroth and Jenova burst in.

"Hey! I heard all of the laughing and I wanted to know what was so funny," Sephiroth commented. He looked over the Turks and the others. "Hmm... You wouldn't be fighting over Huge Materia, now right?"

"Yes," everyone said in unison. Sephiroth nodded. He unsheathed his Masamune.

"OK. I'm getting in on this," Sephiroth said defiantly. Jenova began to growl. "No Mother, you don't have to fight if you don't want to. You can go watch the show from the window. Jenova snorted and slithered over to the window.

"Now... Where were we?" Elena asked. Red XIII lunged at Rude and began to bite at his neck. Cloud and Sephiroth locked swords together. Barret and Vincent encircled Reno, and Cid was preparing to attack Elena. Elena had a cunning smile.

"Take THIS!" Elena shouted. She launched a huge blast of energy. Cid sighed and stepped out of the way. The blast went crashing through a wall. Cid took this opportunity to smack Elena with his spear.

"This ends here Sephiroth!!" Cloud shouted.

"I didn't know we had started something," Sephiroth replied. Both were in a deadly lock with their swords. Barret opened fire on Reno.

"We'll see if you can just run away now!" Barret shouted. Vincent fired again at Reno. Reno stumbled to the ground.

"Damn. I'm being gunned down by Mr. T. and Dracula," Reno muttered. Red XIII was busy clawing at Rude. Rude's sunglasses were broken and out of shape, and he had cuts all over his face and neck.

"Hey! Look!" Red XIII called from his attack. He motioned to the window. Tifa, Aeris, and Yuffie had begun the show. They were busy dancing and prancing across the stage. Cloud released the locked sword and sent Sephiroth flying forward. Barret, Reno, an Vincent stopped to look too. In a few seconds, everyone was watching.

"Wow. I didn't realize Aeris looked that good in scanty clothes," Cloud gaped in awe.

"I didn't realize Yuffie could actually look good," Vincent commented. Red XIII shook his head from the trance.

"You fools! We're being distracted by our own distraction!" Red XIII reminded them. Barret slammed his gun-arm on the table.

"You right lion! Let's get the Huge Materia and go," Barret commented. "Where is it Turks?" Reno pointed to a table in the back without removing his gaze from the show. Barret walked over to a vacant table. "It ain't here!" Cait Sith bounced over and picked up a note on the table.

"Took the Huge Materia to the cannon. - Hojo," Cait Sith read aloud.

"Oh %#^$!" Cid growled as he walked over.

"Les go," Barret motioned for them to go. The team quickly filed out. The Turks, Sephiroth and Jenova remained. Sephiroth and Jenova were locked in a big argument.

"What do you mean I can't look! Step aside Mother!" Sephiroth shouted. Jenova growled back. "No! I want to look now," Sephiroth whined.

 

"Fools. I can wait no longer to launch the Huge Materia," Hojo muttered as he carefully lowered each piece into a huge fireworks shell. After finishing loading, he screwed the top on and flipped it over. He quickly shoved the shell into the Mako Cannon. Just then, Cloud and the rest rushed out into the open.

"Not so fast!" Cloud shouted. Hojo laughed.

"Do you think you could stop me?" Hojo laughed. He pressed a huge red button on the control panel. Alarms sounded around the vicinity. Rufus swore from his podium. 

"That fool! He's launching it too early!" Rufus growled to Heiddeger. Aeris, Tifa, and Yuffie stopped their dancing.

"I feel so degraded," Aeris sighed.

"Not now Aeris," Tifa added. "I think we're too late." The shell fired from the barrel and headed for Meteor.

"Oh $%^#!" Cid shouted. "We're too late!" Cait Sith smiled.

"We're not lost yet," Cait Sith commented. He removed a small remote controller from his pocket. "I just opened the CD holder for the Playstation. That should slow down the cut scene. Hurry and stop that..." Cait Sith glitched a little from the CD slowing down. "the shell."

"We... need a fast plane," Cid commented. "Let's... go... to the Highwind." Cait Sith shook his head.

"No!... Take... something from another game... Highwind is gonna go slow... too!" Cait Sith replied. Cloud thought for a moment, which actually took a pretty long time.

"I... know!" Cloud called. He took out his PHS and dialed. He spoke a few words into the phone and then hung up.

"What?" Tifa asked.

Time for the Independence Day rip off.

A jet soared in from the sky and landed next to Cloud. Squall hopped out with his gun blade.

"It's all yours Cloud. Are you going to make an appearance in Final Fantasy 8?" Squall asked.

"I made one in Final Fantasy Tactics," Cloud replied. He hopped into the jet after a few stalls and then started it up. The jet slowly rose from the ground and headed for the shell. The team would have waved, but they were frozen from the CD stall.

"He better hurry... before the CD closes," Cait Sith added. The jet soared for the shell, which was freezing in midair. Cloud slowed the jet near the shell. He opened the hatch as he neared the slowing shell. He was incredibly close to the looming Meteor. Cloud reached out and tugged at the emergency door on the shell. The Huge Materia gleamed in Meteor's strange light. Cloud pulled at a large red switch, reading "Abort." The engine cracked and halted. The shell released a parachute and fell towards the ground. Cloud rested back in his chair.

"It looks... like smooth... sailing from here," Cloud smiled. His jaw dropped as he saw Meteor approach. "Nuts." Cloud struggled with the controls. The steering wheel wouldn't budge.

"Sorry. Meteor's gravity has locked your controls. Have a nice day," a voice spoke from the cockpit. Cloud punched the control panel. Cloud sighed. "Well, if I have to die, I'll die with some nice quotes." The CD cache locked back in. The game went into a cut scene. The jet approached Meteor at a side angle.

"Hey Meteor! I'm back!!" Cloud shouted. The jet crashed into Meteor. Meteor exploded in a burst of flames. Fireworks lit the sky. (Sure. It doesn't make any sense. But it still sounds and looks good.) Meteor lit the sky. Everyone in Junon awed. Heiddeger spoke something into Rufus' ear. Rufus smiled and nodded.

"My fellow citizens! I have saved the world!" Rufus shouted. Everyone cheered. The team dropped their jaws in anger. Meanwhile, Sephiroth had other plans.

"Saved the Planet? Hah!" Sephiroth laughed. He raised the Black Materia. The sky turned black. Meteor snapped back together in an instant. The public gasped and looked to Rufus.

"Umm..." Rufus struggled to reply. He brushed his hair back. "Run Heiddeger." Rufus and Heiddeger ran to their helicopter and took off. The public took out pitch forks and torches and ran to the helicopter. Meanwhile, the team was looking towards Meteor.

"I can't believe Cloud is really gone," Aeris gasped. Barret cursed.

"This is nuts! They can't just kill off a main character!" Barret shouted.

"You're right," a voice called from behind them. They all turned to see Cloud.

"Cloud!" everyone shouted in unison.

"Missed me?" Cloud replied.

"But you were..." Tifa added. Cloud shook his head.

"I pressed eject before the cut scene. It just looks like I died," Cloud explained. He looked to Aeris. "You might want to keep that as your normal outfit!" Aeris slapped Cloud across the face.

 

Later, at the party...

Barret was busy grilling Hamburgers. He was wearing a "Kiss the Chef" Apron. The rest of team was waiting patiently as Cloud and Cid set up the fireworks.

"OK! All set!" Cloud replied as he attached one last wire. He stepped back. Cid took his cigarette and lit the fuse. He stepped away from the fireworks. The fireworks shot up into the air. Flashed of green, red, and blue filled the sky.

"Oh! It's so pretty," Tifa gasped. Then, three went up in a pattern. The three exploded and formed a pattern.

"Happy Independence Day from the Gold Saucer," Yuffie read aloud.

"Cait Sith and Cloud?" Cid mumbled in disgust.

"Ooops," Cait Sith sighed.

Happy Independence Day from all the characters in Final Fantasy 7!

 

 

Greetings,

I hope you enjoyed this fanfic. And even if you didn't read it on the 4th of July, I hope you still had fun reading it!

 

If you have any comments about this fanfic, please feel free to E-mail me.

 

You can find other work of mine at…

Miracle Existence

 

You can reach me at my e-mail address...

Geode013@aol.com 

  

- Christopher La Bianca AKA Geode